How many times have
you heard this and it did not give you any sense of relief or belief? And ask
yourself how many times have you said this to somebody else?
The phrase ‘try my
best’ is still used in all sincerity to convey that no stone will be left
unturned and yet the phrase lacks conviction, lacks sincerity, lacks
commitment. Imagine if it is replaced by ‘do my best’ – what a big
transformation!
So, when we want to
show conviction, invite trust and command respect, we need to remove the word
‘try’ from our vocabulary – instead of ‘trying’ to do our best, let us just do
our best. Keep it simple!
Involuntarily, use of
certain words actually mold us and our brains in a certain way – when we say
we will try, we automatically leave a door open to exactly not do that (there is a underlying connotation/prediction that we will do something that is not going to be successful) and it
shows itself not only to ourselves but to the listener as well who hears the
lack of conviction and immediately breeds distrust.
A tough report needs to be worked upon the entire weekend and put on the customer’s table on Monday
first thing in the morning. The report is not just a simple copy and paste but
needs a lot of thought, data analysis, insights to be worked upon etc – John
is given responsibility of this report. He is ready to take the ownership but
does not want to be accountable just in case he is not able to come up with the
desired insights. So, he writes an email to the customer explaining ‘I will try
to do my best on this report and send you the results by Monday.'
While the intention
here is noble, notice the vagueness of the sentence used and imagine what
the reaction of the client would be! Rightly so, the customer did not
get a definitive YES or NO from this commitment and he has no idea how to
proceed – a door is left open through which John could walk right out and
leave the customer high and dry.
What do you think
would have happened if John had mentioned – “I will do my best on this report
and take full ownership” OR “I donot have enough resources over the weekend and
hence cannot do the best possible on this report – request an extension”. This
way the client is able to definitively able to take a judgement call on what
action s/he needs to take next. John either does it or does not - there is no in-between.
Imagine you are going
in for an open heart surgery and the surgeon says “I will try to do my best”
versus if he says “I will give it my all” or “I will bring in my best team”. Even the doctor does not know the outcome
of the surgery, however, you would like to know that the doctor is not just trying but actually doing his/her best.
Imagine if the pilot of your plane says 'I will try to fly the plane'. Ooh, would you get on that plane?
Are you a ‘TRY’
person? Count the number of times you use the word every day – if it is more
than 2 per day, you are a ‘TRY’ person.
How about eliminating
the word ‘try’ from your vocabulary (leave the word only to be used for trying on shoes/dresses before you buy). Play it as a game with a friend or your
team – every time the word ‘try’ comes up, 10 bucks goes into a collection box.
See how huge the collection is at the end of the week.
Another word to watch
out for in powerful communication is ‘but’. What do you notice about the usage of this word?
