Stage Fright

Have you ever frozen when going onto a stage to speak or when you begin a really important presentation? Has it ever happened to you that you start thinking ‘Oh my god, what am I going to say now? Shit, I have prepared so hard and now I have forgotten everything’. And your steps to the microphone becomes slower and slower and you are looking around at the audience in a bewildered manner. 

You begin your speech the way you had practised and planned and somehow you feel the audience is not responding as you had expected – you make a joke and maybe only you laugh at it or you get a few murmurs. So, you are thinking in your head, my next joke is going to completely fall flat, my audience is bored, how do I get the audience moving etc etc etc.

And here’s the thing – the moment you get into your head, you are in a level of listening where your focus is on you and your thoughts and that is all fine at times but this is definitely not one of those times. The speech/presentation is not about you and hence being in your head now is NOT going to serve you well. So, the trick is to get out of your head and shine the spotlight on something else or someone else.

There are many techniques that people employ – you have to find one that is most effective for you. Performers employ method acting, some look for an object to hold onto to shift their nervous energy. Have you heard of the saying that ‘Imagine your audience naked when you are going up on the stage’. That is a ploy to get you out of your head and many times it could also put you in your head where you then start thinking ‘Ok, the naked audience looks weird, oh  my God, what do I say to this audience?’ So, look beyond that and find something to shine the spotlight on.

And here’s a simple technique - the best antidote to freezing or getting out of your head is being curious. So, imagine this scenario, you are walking up to the microphone and you recognize that you are already in your head going over about what to say and what to do. So, look around and ask yourself ‘what I can be curious about?’ You can be curious about your audience, you can be curious about one person in the audience, you can be curious about the inanimate objects on the stage and THEN NAME IT! Give voice to your curiosity, articulate it and then notice the shift in the energy of you and your audience – that is a great ice-breaker. And once you connect with your audience, notice how easy the flow is - do this again in the midst of your presentation if you feel your audience is drifting off.

The same technique can be used when you are about to make a presentation or conduct a meeting – could be in a closed room as well. So, go ahead give this a try and let me know how it goes....

Is the Client Always Right?

This was a question that was posted in one of the LinkedIn CIO groups. There has been this age old belief in business that Customer is always right. The debate was on whether this saying still holds true because the customer/client may not be aware of the newest solution in the market and hence how can he always be right – he could be operating under limiting beliefs. Very true! 

So, should the solution provider educate the client and make him see his limited beliefs, which could essentially be costing him more money than otherwise?

While the debate raged on for sometime, it is only fair to say that as a solution provider, you might have the best solution in the world, but if you make your client look foolish, your solution will not have any buyer.

Imagine if you could steer your client away from his limiting beliefs and expand his perspectives AND make him look extremely good in the process - sounds like an ideal win-win situation. That is possible only when the client feels that it has been his idea and his decision. So, how does one achieve that?

I had a similar discussion with a wonderful coaching colleague of mine about the following example:

A Coach notices a self limiting belief in a client and believes that if that can be explored and called out, it will serve the client so much more to move forward with more resources. However, the client does not see that as a limiting belief and is uncomfortable with proceeding in that strain of discussion. What should a coach do?

One of the skills in coaching is ‘Holding a Client’s Agenda’. As coaches, we do want the best for all our clients, however, there is a difference between a well wisher and a professionally trained coach. As a coach, she is trained to let go of her agenda and be with the client without judgement. 

Using a mechanism that I call as ‘Engage & Detach’, while a coach engages with a client, she also detaches herself from the outcome and from her own assumptions – a coach does not have to prove herself right. The outcome is something that emerges from the discussion, which allows for openness and gives space to the client to explore and come to his own conclusions. That is so empowering for the client.

What if the same analogy were to be utilized in business? Most books on sales’ or client engagement say the art of selling is to influence your customers to get the desired outcome that YOU want. I have seen sales meetings/negotiations fail due to too much focus on the solution – the solution is the best in the market and hence that should automatically solve all the client’s problem.

As a solution provider, if you are focused on your agenda of what a great solution you have, the client never feels engaged – maybe the client has a more immediate issue of budget or maybe he is struggling with some office politics and his promotion is in jeopardy. The trick is to let go of your own agenda and assumptions and focus on the client’s agenda – you donot have to prove yourself right. And the deeper you explore your client’s agenda, the more you peel off the layers and you are so much closer to getting a solution that empowers the client to take some tough decisions that the client would not have otherwise taken....ENGAGE & DETACH!