3 Things To Stop Doing Right Now

Yesterday I watched a good cook participating in Masterchef Australia (yes, the TV cooking competition!) flounder and confuse himself while trying too hard to impress his idol, the legendary chef in the culinary world, Marco Pierre White; and in the process landed himself among the 3 worst cooks of the day.

Has this ever happened to you where you have worked too hard at achieving something and yet did not achieve the result you wanted and probably even ended up with one of your worst performances?

I remember in one of my sales deals, I had worked so hard, made multiple trips to the customer location, mapped the entire customer team right from top to bottom and all stakeholders in between and yet the deal fell through. Blame it on the 2008 economic meltdown or blame it on other circumstances, it was really hard for me to recover from that place of investment – I call it investment because it was not only time, money and energy but a lot of emotional investment into this deal. It took me a while and lots of energy to get out of the ‘Why did this have to happen to me?’ and ‘What did I do wrong – this is unfair’ mindset. And when I emerged out in the sunshine again, I knew it was time to learn and do things differently - 3 of which are as follows:

1.       Remain detached from the outcome: In business and in life, this is one of the most important aspects - our emotional investment comes from the fact that we are emotionally attached to the outcome. We already build in a picture in our minds about the future and how good it would be - the recognition, the sense of achievement, the good life etc, so much so that when the outcome is not as desired, it is harder for us to let go of the beautiful picture than the lost deal itself. What has served me better is to focus on the process and remain detached from the outcome.

Visualization is a key exercise most coaches use to extract a high level of performance without fear, however, visualization without self-awareness can be a potential downer.

 2.       Explore different Perspectives: When I hold up my hand in front of me, I see a fleshy palm, 5 fingers and various lines zigzagging through my palm and fingers. At the same time, the person on the other side sees my knuckles and 5 fingers with nails - a completely different picture. Donot be blinded by the obvious, instead search for perspectives that are not immediately visible.

Having a learner’s mind means not making assumptions about the obvious and this is extremely important eg If both me and my customer had explored his needs from perspectives, that were not visible immediately to both of us, we would have discovered some new aspects that would have in favour of both of us.

 3.       Stop Trying to Impress: We all know this and yet we keep making the same mistake again and again and again. It is instinctive for us to focus on creating a good impression of ourselves, our organizations etc and in the process we forget that we are not important – what is important is the customer or the task at hand. 

How many times have you found yourself sacrificing your strengths at the altar of ‘impressions’ just like this young masterchef cook? Whenever you find yourself working too hard, stop and ask 'Who am I trying to impress here?' You'd be surprised because sometimes the answer could even be 'Myself'!

So, inspired from the above, what is the action that you can take?

Here is a challenge this week for us to do together – the ‘STOP IT CHALLENGE’ (SIC!) week. I invite you to a 1 week challenge – invite a buddy to play this game with you and hold each other accountable and tell me what you achieved.

Stop Obsessing about the Outcome (and Start Enjoying the Process/Journey)
Stop Assuming the Obvious (and Start Exploring)

Stop Impressing (and Start Being Impressed)

What is the ONE thing you would like to change if you could....

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My Designation Defines Me....?

As I am interviewing leaders for my forthcoming book, I stumbled across a leadership myth - ‘My Designation automatically warrants respect!’

Hmm, let’s take a pause and explore this further because for most of us our designation is a yardstick by which success is measured. This is also subconsciously linked to the hierarchical seating mechanism in an office – the bigger our designation, the more exclusive desk we get in the office until we have a room and then the corner office. Don’t get me wrong – one should be proud, very proud of moving up the corporate ladder and as the designation gets sexier and sexier, one has the right to feel on top of the world.

Looking back, years ago, I used to agonize over the title on my business card. I was in sales and in my mind, my designation was the window through which my customers would judge me and my power within my organization - the bigger the title, the higher I stood in the ‘importance’ ladder. Also, the perception was that the designation seemed to be a way of getting past a gatekeeper – after all a CEO does not have time to meet with everybody! Huh, there was however, ONE BIG point I was missing – every other person was a Vice President or had a fancy title. So, what differentiated me?

Approximately 2.5 years ago, I had an enlightened discussion with one of my clients – he admitted that given his position, everybody wanted to meet him and yes, designation played a role, however, he wished people were more innovative with that. He wished he had a way of knowing who could really provide value and who was just a fancy designation. He had met many CXOs and unfortunately found many were a waste of time – it really did not matter to him who he met as long the person made a difference and really took his problem off his hands.

That gave me an idea – henceforth, every meeting I went to, I stopped giving out my business cards. I would make some excuse about running out of business cards. Interestingly, I noticed that I made some of my best connections when I did NOT give away my card and focused instead laser like on my customer and on the value that I could bring. Henceforth, my introduction was ‘I am Ruma & I handle sales in this region from ‘my company’ – If you need a solution that I have, rest assured, I know how to navigate through my organization and can get things done for you. So, let’s get the show on the road.’ And now it has become a habit. Except for networking events, I just forget to hand out my business card. (So, if we ever meet and you want my business card, please do remind me….)

One of my good friends, Shantanu Sen Sharma (who now runs his own company, Ozone Education), jokes about how everybody appears to be a Vice President or a Senior Vice President. According to him, the right hand text that comes AFTER the Vice-President gives a true indicator. So, one should ignore the ‘Vice President’ designation and focus on the right side of the title to get a true picture ie Vice President – Americas, Vice President – Infrastructure, Vice President – Service Delivery, Vice President – Customer Services and so on.

And today, in a world of commoditized designations, there is a distinction between going up the ladder on paper and going up the ladder in practice. There is a distinction between a designation and the person behind that designation. And this is one case where the distinction should not be clear at all – if both merge, rest assured a leader is emerging.

Yes, the higher up the ladder you go, people around you will laugh harder at your jokes and your request or suggestion becomes a command. Yes, you will have people working for you but have you earned the right to lead? Have you earned the respect that accompanies the designation? Maybe a better question to answer is ‘What is my unique contribution to this designation?’ ‘What is my identity minus the designation?’ ‘What is the one change I would bring about using my designation?’

Here's to shifting away from just being a wannabe leader defined by designation alone…..