Imagine a baby who is eager to walk on his/her two feet. S/he is probably thinking “Everybody around me is walking and running and I am just crawling, my mobility is so limited –how wonderful it would be to run to that shiny red thing at the end of the room (which people around me say I should not touch) and explore it at will before anybody stops me. Sigh, let me get up on my feet but my bum hurts everytime I fall down and everybody laughs as well – how humiliating!” If the baby decided that he wants to walk and run but is afraid of falling, of hurting and of being humiliated, he would give up on getting up again and again and he would never walk!
We often call going after our dreams as ‘leap of faith’ – wonder why… Our typical journey is we take a leap (somewhere) and build our career and then figure out this is not what I want to do or I want to do more, something is missing and then the opportunity comes up to take another leap (this time with awareness) and we step back – Why? Because we donot want to lose what we already have, we donot want to start at the bottom again (seems daunting...), we have practical obligations in life (mortgages, children, family, our comfort etc etc) or we are just afraid of falling/failing. And then life is up and nobody gets to hear the music within you ever….
If you are one of those who hesitate to follow your passion, it is interesting that you have acquired success, wealth, comfort etc doing something that you are not so passionate about, forcing yourself to give 100%. Imagine what is possible when you follow your passion where you automatically give more than 100%....
I recently met up with a songwriter/music director friend and we were discussing about the struggle and joy of embarking on the path less travelled and the support or non support of people around us. He had a really interesting thing to say – ‘What if I fail – that phrase does not exist for me. There is no ‘what if’ or ‘but’ in my life - I donot give myself any other choice. Music is a passion for me and while many might count the not-so-good days as struggle without success, for me every passing day brings me closer to my goal.’
If you are one of those who hesitate to follow your passion, it is interesting that you have acquired success, wealth, comfort etc doing something that you are not so passionate about, forcing yourself to give 100%. Imagine what is possible when you follow your passion where you automatically give more than 100%....
I recently met up with a songwriter/music director friend and we were discussing about the struggle and joy of embarking on the path less travelled and the support or non support of people around us. He had a really interesting thing to say – ‘What if I fail – that phrase does not exist for me. There is no ‘what if’ or ‘but’ in my life - I donot give myself any other choice. Music is a passion for me and while many might count the not-so-good days as struggle without success, for me every passing day brings me closer to my goal.’
This observation is so profound – it is so like the child who has to walk/run. For him there is no other choice. There is no ‘what if’ or ‘but’ in the child’s mind – every passing day brings the child closer to the day s/he WILL walk and run. It is not a 'leap of faith' - it is just doing what you are meant to do.
Coming back to when did it become OK to fail, it looks like as babies and as kids, we were uninhibited, undaunted by competition, unafraid to fall down again and again and kept our focus on what we wanted and went after it whole heartedly.
As we grow up, there are certain things we acquire, ego being the biggest of them who begins to take control of our lives, who begins asking the question ‘what if’. That is our false self, who successfully distorts the image of our life and we fail to make clear distinctions among identity, success and money. Not failing becomes an obsession and the definition of success becomes blurred.
If you look closely, success is about achieving a goal and that is so fulfilling. However, most of us find that, that fulfillment is not the finish line. We never 'arrive' in our lifetime…we move on from one goal to the next and next…so the end state is about reaching a goal and success/failure are just uphills/downhills on the road towards our goal. Hence, it is OK to fail means it is OK to overcome the bump and move on….
What do you notice? If your focus shifts to the goal rather than the end result, and you look deeper into your goal, letting go of associated distracting factors, you will find you NEVER FAIL. Here are some examples of deepening your goal(s):
a) I want to be the best that I can be (the goal could be: I will add at least 10 more ammunition this month to my artillery to tackle life/career – where am I limiting myself?)
b) I want to win the contract (the goal could be: I want to win $ X million from this customer within Y months – what else is possible?)
c) I want to make a lot of money (the goal could be: I want to live my life comfortably and luxuriously and provide for my family – what do I have now? )
d) I want to provide the best for my children (the goal could be: I want my children to grow up as somebody I would be proud of – what can I do for my children’s growth?)
e) I want others to look up to me and admire me as a success (the goal could be: I want to be respected and be in a position to give rather than take from others – what does that say about me?)
The same is true for leaders in an organization – if you redefine and focus your personal and professional goals so that they have more depth than just a shallow perspective, imagine the shift you would have in your communications, in your relationships and hence in your business.
I am interested to hear what your goal is….(@ ruma.biswas001@gmail.com)
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