3 Things To Stop Doing Right Now

Yesterday I watched a good cook participating in Masterchef Australia (yes, the TV cooking competition!) flounder and confuse himself while trying too hard to impress his idol, the legendary chef in the culinary world, Marco Pierre White; and in the process landed himself among the 3 worst cooks of the day.

Has this ever happened to you where you have worked too hard at achieving something and yet did not achieve the result you wanted and probably even ended up with one of your worst performances?

I remember in one of my sales deals, I had worked so hard, made multiple trips to the customer location, mapped the entire customer team right from top to bottom and all stakeholders in between and yet the deal fell through. Blame it on the 2008 economic meltdown or blame it on other circumstances, it was really hard for me to recover from that place of investment – I call it investment because it was not only time, money and energy but a lot of emotional investment into this deal. It took me a while and lots of energy to get out of the ‘Why did this have to happen to me?’ and ‘What did I do wrong – this is unfair’ mindset. And when I emerged out in the sunshine again, I knew it was time to learn and do things differently - 3 of which are as follows:

1.       Remain detached from the outcome: In business and in life, this is one of the most important aspects - our emotional investment comes from the fact that we are emotionally attached to the outcome. We already build in a picture in our minds about the future and how good it would be - the recognition, the sense of achievement, the good life etc, so much so that when the outcome is not as desired, it is harder for us to let go of the beautiful picture than the lost deal itself. What has served me better is to focus on the process and remain detached from the outcome.

Visualization is a key exercise most coaches use to extract a high level of performance without fear, however, visualization without self-awareness can be a potential downer.

 2.       Explore different Perspectives: When I hold up my hand in front of me, I see a fleshy palm, 5 fingers and various lines zigzagging through my palm and fingers. At the same time, the person on the other side sees my knuckles and 5 fingers with nails - a completely different picture. Donot be blinded by the obvious, instead search for perspectives that are not immediately visible.

Having a learner’s mind means not making assumptions about the obvious and this is extremely important eg If both me and my customer had explored his needs from perspectives, that were not visible immediately to both of us, we would have discovered some new aspects that would have in favour of both of us.

 3.       Stop Trying to Impress: We all know this and yet we keep making the same mistake again and again and again. It is instinctive for us to focus on creating a good impression of ourselves, our organizations etc and in the process we forget that we are not important – what is important is the customer or the task at hand. 

How many times have you found yourself sacrificing your strengths at the altar of ‘impressions’ just like this young masterchef cook? Whenever you find yourself working too hard, stop and ask 'Who am I trying to impress here?' You'd be surprised because sometimes the answer could even be 'Myself'!

So, inspired from the above, what is the action that you can take?

Here is a challenge this week for us to do together – the ‘STOP IT CHALLENGE’ (SIC!) week. I invite you to a 1 week challenge – invite a buddy to play this game with you and hold each other accountable and tell me what you achieved.

Stop Obsessing about the Outcome (and Start Enjoying the Process/Journey)
Stop Assuming the Obvious (and Start Exploring)

Stop Impressing (and Start Being Impressed)