Monday 14 October 2013

Imposter Syndrome...

When I joined frontline sales after a stint in delivery and presales, I was doing good but I always had a nagging feeling at the back of mind telling me ‘Oh my God, what are you doing here? You will get found out soon for the fake that you are!

And hear this, when I joined an MNC directly from campus from my engineering college, there was this voice telling me then ‘You are a mechanical engineer – how will you fit into IT? You are not technically strong like your other counterparts from computer engineering or even electrical engineering – you will get found out soon for the fake that you are!’ Years later, after leading multiple delivery programs, after multiple awards and recognition for my technical skills, there was still this voice telling me ‘you will get found out soon for the fake that you are!

Thereafter, I left my super successful delivery career and ventured into business development and sales where I had no prior experience. And I landed myself in the midst of some very dashing, smart, handsome sales men, who could talk their pants off and sell anything. Now this voice was stronger than ever ‘Where have you landed yourself – you donot know anything about sales and you are not remotely as articulate as your other counterparts. You are a woman – people donot listen to women in sales. You will be found out soon for the fake that you are!’.
Years later, after a successful sales career in multiple countries, across multiple cultures, being led by and leading some really kick-ass sales generals, after countless CXO and other senior level meetings, I realized that though I have never been exposed as a fake yet, that voice inside me is still hopeful…

It was then that I stumbled upon a startling fact that this voice has got a name – it is called the IMPOSTER syndrome and it is very common among most people (especially the successful ones), in high performance sales people, in high flying leaders, in women climbing fast up the corporate ladder, in entrepreneurs, in performers/athletes/artists going for world recognition and the list is endless. 

So, how did this syndrome help or shackle me? It made me work harder to prove myself, to “cover” up essentially and for the most part I learned to ignore this voice. But I also realized that at a few places it made me avoid taking big risks, made me keep my head down and not be as bold as I might otherwise have been. Now I know this syndrome and I am comfortable with this being my friend - calling it out is the first step towards dealing with this affliction.

The incoming class in Stanford Business School (after a tough admission process) was asked, who among them felt that they were there because the admissions committee made a mistake. Guess, how many students raised their hands? Approx 75% of the students felt they were a mistake and they would be found out soon.

[I would] wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot and, and think, I can’t do this; I’m a fraud” – Kate Winslet
At any time I still expect that the no-talent police will come and arrest me” – Mike Myers
I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh-Oh, they’re going to find out now. I have run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out’ ” – Award winning author Mary Angelou

Do you have this affliction as well? If yes, how do you deal with it? How do you make it an ally to propel your career or life in the direction that you want?

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